hello internet denziens.

i hope you are well. i am well. i am thirty eight minutes away from getting on a flight to take me to ottawa and pam. it has been delayed by two hours, but i am ok with that because i needed to finish off that harry potter book anywayz.

my life has become more complicated recently. i needed more stuff to do, so i applied for some part time jobs in the fall. in january one place hired me on for a project, and then, another called me up and said they got the funding they needed to hire me. so now, i am very well employed. some might even say i have a surplus of employment. i am very thankful for the work, though, because both jobs will help my resume so i can get a better job in ottawa when i land back there in the fall.

the music the c-town airport plays is eerie. very eerie. think fun house mirrors and cheezy early-sixties science fiction tv. i feel as though at any moment a spacesuit wearing clown will jump out of that baggage carrousell opening. the airport also has a big plastic cow in it. very small eyes on that cow. it's also very boxy. ok, i'm gonna do some work. or, um, read wikipedia for a while. the article on snowflakes is fascinating, fyi.

be cool.

i feel terrible. not sickly. just low. loowwwww. i feel like i am doing a bad job at everything, and if i could leave and go home, i probably would. i am so tired. i don't like doing a bad job at everything. i like knowing what i'm supposed to be doing. having a plan. making decisions. following through. i want to be with pam and have her hold me and tell me everything is ok, but she is sitting in class more than a thousand miles away, and i have to be at youth group tonight because, um, i run the youth group show, poorly or not.

there is this one guy i know from the drop in. he is the closest person that i know to a prophet. maybe prophet is the wrong word. but he does remind me about God and believing in Him. he is always asking me questions about the resurrection. it is hard to make out what he says, but i usually get it after a few trys. and then, after i answer his question (how long will it take to get to heaven when jesus comes back? are we really going to be all-new? will i see my parents there? when is he coming, soon?) he gets this huge grin on his face, he gets all excited. hope is so real and powerful to him. it is alive. it changes him. he always reminds me how good it will be when the rule of God takes over this world fully and completely. how the poor and broken and dejected will be healed. he makes me want it so badly. i want it very badly.

i am tired, lord, please enter into my life anew and remake it the way you want it. help me to be part of your plan to introduce the inbreak of your kingdom of love and justice to charlottetown and the world. give me the courage to stay strong in the hope that it will really take place and that you really use people like me (and me) to do it.