i have long believed in, and a few times felt, a quietness that can invade a soul like a deep sleep. i cherish those times. this internship (or whatever you call it, following?) was meant to have some qualities that would lend itself to that sort of thing. embracing quietness, letting it take over. the house of t is a good place to do that. sometimes in the late evenings i will sit in the dark on the couch in the front room and hear only the quiet mumblings of the refrigerator.

i have been quite enjoying this time already. i am glad that i can do this. step back, think, reflect. already i find myself learning a lot about people, and about how to interact with them, when to be straight with them and when to be softer because they need it. i am also learning a lot about what i didn't really think about beforehand, about the mechanism of a church corpus, how different people think it should be put together or organized, or open for change or positioned for growth.

when i think of a church meeting i generally think this: small groups of people who really connect with one another, who share their experiences with each other, encourage each other to live and love the best way possible, to share and embrace the freedom and joy of the connection with Jesus as a community. to people who do not understand this or want to understand this it probably sounds like some sort of orwellian groupthink. but when i sit back to times i have had when i really felt like i was in that sort of community there is nothing sinister or malevolent or even foolish about it. but lately, i have come to realize that that is not the end of what local church means. i am still sorting it out. i am glad to be here to do it.

i am quite thankful for the people here. i am enjoying them a lot. and i don't mean to neglect this journal quite so much. maybe i will get better at it. : - ).